My husband tells me… "Babe, I want you to write about what it's like to train during perimenopause."
My first thought was, what do you mean by train? Train for what? Train not to be tired? Train not to be anxious? Train not to be depressed? Train to eliminate brain fog? Train out the anger? Train to have one day of concise and consistent thought processes that link together without emotion interfering?
Then I said, "Oh, you mean work out?" And he nods and says, "But why do you train, and what works, what doesn't? How do you FEEL?"
His thoughts are simple. I envy that.
Where It Started
Perimenopause starts at different ages for different women. For me, it was age 41. It was 2020 and COVID. Something shifted. I was tired. I wasn't enjoying things the way I used to. I couldn't remember what I had for breakfast. I didn't care if I had lunch. I had massive anxiety driving simple decisions. And I was putting on body fat despite working out consistently and doing jiu jitsu with my husband. (Sensei now — but we can't blow his head up about that. 😉)
I thought it was long COVID. I wanted help but wasn't getting it through the insurance model. Fast forward six years. Working with a clinic out of Texas, we diagnosed a thyroid issue and low T.
Still working out, down 10 lbs — but still tired. Still have brain fog. Still crying at commercials and waking up with anxiety. I had to stop jiu jitsu. I'm a work in progress.
Simplify. Show Up.
I had to simplify and maximize efficiency in workouts while reducing the amount of time I had available to work out. Most days I get 20 minutes of hard work and 10 to cool down and stretch. The goal is HIIT 2x a week, weights 3x. Sometimes I make it, sometimes I don't.
Perfection is an illusion. Motivation isn't promised. But discipline? Discipline is my signal. I keep moving my body as part of my non-negotiable routine — even if that means only walking the dogs that day. Sometimes this means working out at 5am or 9pm.
Working out during perimenopause is like riding a bike up a hill that never ends. I see my husband at the same spot on the hill, but he's on an electric bike. Screw him and his electric bike. Why can't I have that bike?
I get off the bike to rest, take the electrolytes, drink the protein, take the supplements — but the key is always getting back on it. Discipline, not motivation, is key for me. His bike passing me is just noise. The hardest part is showing up.
Some days it's a full HIIT session. 20 minutes of hard work, maximum heart rate, everything you've got. Those days feel like being on top of the world.
Some days it's weights at 9pm after everyone else is asleep. Not ideal. Still counts.
Some days it's just walking the dogs. Movement is movement. Non-negotiable doesn't mean perfect — it means consistent.
The Power of Accountability
Accountability comes in many forms. Sometimes it's you. Sometimes it's your life partner. Sometimes it's your kids. Sometimes it's because the dog needs a walk. Any way you cut it — moving your body is good for your mind, body, and soul.
And that's always easier with a partner. The hardest part is showing up, and showing up is always easier when someone is showing up with you.
The Real Reason I Train
If you really want to know the God's honest truth about why I train?
It's for my mind. When I move my body, it keeps the "what ifs" away. When I'm able to overcome that really difficult, maximum heart rate HIIT workout, I feel like I'm on top of the world.
I feel like if I can get through that — if I can accomplish that — then all of the daily noise melts away.
Am I skinny enough? Am I pretty enough? Am I too old? What do others think of me — or not? Am I valuable at work? Am I respected? Am I good enough for my partner? Am I valuable at ALL?
I bet it's noise surrounding you too.
When I move my body, it rids my mind of the noise. The daily grind is just noise. All those things that go wrong during the day, all those thoughts about whether you're worthy — it's a distraction. A distraction from who WE REALLY ARE.
The Dopamine of Progress
When I move up in weight lifting… well, that rush — that rush is a dopamine hit of accomplishment for me too. In that moment, I am worth something. I did that!
I think that's what we're all really pushing for — self-acceptance in a world where no one truly feels accepted by themselves or others.
I feel better. I look better. And I accept myself fully in those moments.
Exercise reduces anxiety and depression symptoms in perimenopausal women as effectively as some pharmacological interventions, according to research published in the journal Menopause.
Resistance training specifically has been shown to improve cognitive function, mood, and sleep quality in women over 40 — three of the most commonly reported perimenopause complaints.
The consistency effect is real. Women who exercise consistently through perimenopause report significantly better quality of life outcomes than those who don't — independent of weight loss or performance gains.
Mentality Over Motivation
But what about those moments that lead up to pushing that weight or the heart rate? How do you get there?
Your mentality and your emotion as a woman drive you more than you know.
It's OK to want what you want in the moment and want something different after that moment passes. It's OK to be wrong. It's OK to be afraid. It's OK to ask for affirmation or help.
Today's action is not tomorrow's promise for change. Live in the now. Don't paralyze yourself by overthinking.
For me — it is my responsibility to take action with my goals. Find out what's working and what's not, take responsibility for that outcome, and make adjustments where needed.
I build psychological resistance by getting better at feeling bad… not by always wanting to feel good. And I never want to be average. I want to be the best REAL me I can be. Flaws and all.
There's no such thing as a one-size-fits-all protocol for humans. The average human is nothing but the median intersection of all humans alive — so the average human really doesn't exist.
The Permission Is Yours
What is it that you're willing to do — or not do — to make 85-year-old you miserable or happy?
At some point, you realize the permission you've been waiting on all along is your own.
That's what we're all about at REAL LYFE — helping you be the best real you. Today, tomorrow, and beyond.
So come on… let's ride up that hill together. I bet we'll find an electric bike. 😊
Your REAL partners are waiting for you.
— Ashley C. Simpson, Co-Founder · Real Lyfe Fitness
Frequently Asked Questions
Can you still work out during perimenopause?
Yes — and you should. Exercise during perimenopause helps manage symptoms like fatigue, anxiety, mood swings, and brain fog. The key is adjusting your approach: shorter, more efficient sessions, prioritizing consistency over intensity, and leading with discipline rather than waiting for motivation.
What type of exercise is best for perimenopause?
A combination of HIIT (2x per week) and strength training (3x per week) is highly effective during perimenopause. Strength training helps preserve muscle mass that declines with hormonal changes, while HIIT supports cardiovascular health and mood. Even 20–30 minutes is enough when done consistently.
How does perimenopause affect motivation to exercise?
Perimenopause can significantly impact motivation due to hormonal fluctuations, fatigue, brain fog, and mood changes. Many women find that motivation becomes unreliable during this phase. The shift from motivation-driven to discipline-driven exercise is one of the most important mental pivots a woman can make in her 40s.
Why is discipline more important than motivation during perimenopause?
Motivation is an emotion — and perimenopause plays havoc with emotions. Discipline is a system. When hormones are unpredictable, motivation will not show up consistently. Building movement as a non-negotiable part of your routine — regardless of how you feel — creates results that motivation alone never could.
How much should you exercise during perimenopause?
You don't need hours — you need consistency. Even 20 minutes of hard work with 10 minutes of cooldown and stretching delivers real benefits. The goal is movement every day in some form, whether that's a structured HIIT session, weight training, or simply walking. Showing up matters more than duration.
Can exercise help with perimenopause brain fog and anxiety?
Yes. Regular exercise — particularly cardio and strength training — has been shown to support cognitive function and reduce anxiety. Many women report that high-intensity workouts specifically quiet the mental noise of perimenopause, providing a window of clarity and emotional calm that extends beyond the workout itself.
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